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7/21/09

Transformers 2: Revenge Of The Same Crappy Communist Plot

It had more plot holes than Obama's healthcare proposal. It had a desert behind the Smithsonian in Washington D.C. and Petra within walking distance of the Pyramids. Crude language and lewd humor throughout. It was just not funny.

The plot drifted aimlessly from one theme to the next: entering college, spy/espionage, army coolness, mystical Egypt... I had two high schoolers sitting behind me in the theater kicking my seat, yacking the whole time, laughing whenever something got blown up. Indeed, who else could enjoy this movie?

The main message of the movie is that mankind should not have technology because they can't handle it. When asked what gives them the right to withhold vital technology from humans, Optimus Prime the leader of the Transformers, said something like, "It's our technology to decide who we give it to or not so stop acting like what is ours is yours and what is yours is ours. We have respected your rights to your stuff on this planet so we only ask that you do the same for us."

It occurred to me that the movie promoted a small group of ubermensch elitists whose duty it is to make things safe for everyone else. Classic communism.

The main writer, Ehren Kruger, wrote a movie called "New World Disorder." Similarly to Transformers 2, this is a story of a hero trying to stop criminals from starting a new world order by infecting computers. The Decepticons in Tranformers 2 wanted to use technology for their greedy benifit, upsurping the good of the "community."

Another writer for the film, Roberto Orci, wrote a recent movie called "Eagle Eye." This is a half-baked story of a hero trying to stop a computer from forcing him to cause a complete revolution because of corrupt "torture" by the CIA. Orci's message here was: Sure we have to put up with evil neo-conservatives, but we have to put up with stuff for the good of the community. This reminded me of Jet Li's "The One," which was a response to discontent with communist China.

Director Michael Bay is a registered Democrat. It thought it was interesting that he filmed parts of Transformers 2 to glorify our military. It looked like a "Go Army" commercial! Of course now that Democrats are in power the military is the way to go!

Contrast that with his movie "The Rock." In that movie, a group of psychotic Navy Seals take over Alcatraz and almost annihilate San Francisco because of corrupt actions in Vietnam. Same message as "Eagle Eye."

He glorifies oil companies in "Armageddon," slamming the military as a bunch of bumbling hot-shots who almost ruin the world because they are so trigger happy. He kinda does this in Tranformers Two, portraying a presidential adviser as a bumbling fool who hates the savior transformer robots. But in the end the military comes through (unilaterally invading Egypt, I might add), and allows the elitists to save the world.

Stay tuned for GI Joe, a rockin' adventure about the world police who make the NWO safe for everyone! In theaters soon!

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